im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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