I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
