You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
