Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i out mim tonsoeep
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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