Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
