Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
