dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
