she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
