I am puke
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
