ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
