My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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