how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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