He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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