I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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