it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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