I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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