I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
