i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
