Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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