I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My liver just had a heart attack.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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