You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
