We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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