I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
