whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
