my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
