Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
