Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize