A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
