Don't you send me to vm
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
