I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
