no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
