yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
