Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
