Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
