he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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