I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
