The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize