her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
