Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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