Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize