well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
