Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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