you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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