You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
