Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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