My boss' voice literally gives me gas
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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