Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize