I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I bet he comes in French.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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