Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
