this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
