marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
