My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
