No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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