well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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