We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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