Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
