So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
