Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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