If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
two words...techno handjob
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize