I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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