this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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