I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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