I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
