okay pat passed out under dana's car
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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