vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
