Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
