I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
