ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
