woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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