Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize