hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
